hello.
i wrote a poem today.
okay, not really.
i was just writing lines in my student's companion then i put them together and i realised they make a poem.
so you can call it a poem, i guess?

If we pick up where we left of,
If we start afresh,
If we forgive the mistakes,
And forget all the bad,
Would it work out?
Would it be better?
Cos this heart that you tore,
It can take no more,
So tell me baby,
Should i walk out the door?

Hah. I bet Ms. Kang wouldn't say this is a poem. Ah weeellsss.

People keep saying how i should just let go of him. Cos he's a cheater and blah blah blah. Then they criticise me for making the decision that i made. In the words of Diniy, 'Maybe you're not the girl i thought you were.' Maybe i'm not and i'm sorry for hurting your feelings, Diniy. If you don't acknowledge me as a friend anymore then it's fine with me. But thanks for always being there for me, and cheering me up with your crappy jokes that were endless. (I don't think he even comes here, but oh well.)

Back to the critising. Everyone keeps going 'Why, Melissa?' And i don't have an answer. I don't know why either. I got over him, i did i really did. But then he walked into my life again and i dunno..i guess i'm weak. Yes, go ahead and laugh at me. Geez, i don't even know why i'm writing this cos there's not a single soul or people who call themselves my 'friends' who would understand this. You think that by ignoring me you're gonna make things better but geeez, it makes me feel worse. And if that's how you treat your friend, by ignoring her and not supporting her decisions then so be it. You did it once, i'm definitely not surprised you did it again. If you're my true friend, you'd understand. I know you're doing all this because you care for me and i appreciate that. But sometimes, it makes me feel worse.

The only person who's stood by me through every single decision i made is Elizabeth. Thanks, I LOVE YOU! Thanks for telling me that i shouldn't listen to other people cos they're not the one who was in that rocky relationship. And for treating me the same even though i know that you still find me stupid about the decision i made. Maybe i am. I guess i am. But I guess i've always been the 'forgive and forget' type.

This time i'll be more careful.

And D,
sorry that i made you feel that i was believing everyone else. you're right, if you didn't care then you wouldn't have cried. If you didn't love me then you wouldn't have bothered to pick me up that day. And if you didn't care, you wouldn't have cared when i didn't reply any of your messages. I'm sorry. It's just that i know i'm not perfect, but i just feel that I should have been treated better.
Maybe this time, this could actually work out.
But I'm sorry, a part of me still feels that you don't care and i guess i don't really trust you.
Please understand me.
And please don't break a heart that wasn't whole to start with, cos it can take no more.


And to everyone else who thinks i'm 'stupid' and 'gullible' and 'naive'.
Try being me, how would you feel?
You don't have to act like you're all okay with it, believe me, i understand.
And please understand me.


To all those whose feelings got hurt in the process,
I'M SORRY.
Maybe one day i'll make it up to you.
Please don't judge me for this.
Please.


Nobody wanna see us together
But it don't matter no
Cause I got you babe
Nobody wanna see us together
But it don't matter no
Cause I got you babe
Cause we gon' fight
Oh yes we gon' fight
Believe we gon' fight
We gon' fight
Fight for our right to love yeah
Nobody wanna see us together
But it don't matter no
Cause I got you